Are you worried your relationship is in trouble?
Have you and your spouse been arguing a lot lately and you’re worrying that the arguing isn’t getting resolved?
Are you and your partner finding it hard to share your thoughts without name calling, sarcasm and losing your cool with each other?
Are you and your partner struggling with a lack of intimacy because of the tension within your relationships?
Do you find yourself wishing you could both go back in time to when you first met and your commitment to each other was the most important thing in your life?
Perhaps you are starting to feel like you just can’t come to an understanding around issues like parenting, or how to manage your finances. Or maybe you are concerned your relationship has fallen into feeling like roommates more than romantic partners. Has there been a break in the trust you once had because of an affair and you’re feeling a rift between you?
Sometimes you may feel like you can’t even figure out what is causing the discontent and lack of commitment that seems to have grown between you and your partner. There can be an underlying sense of isolation and loneliness inside of a relationship that causes one or the other to pull away. Life stressors can sap the energy you once had for focusing on your relationship and fatigue can spread through the bond that once meant everything to you.
Maybe you’ve tried working on your problems, and have talked with friends and tried taking time away together without the distractions of work and kids to work on things together. Maybe you’ve tried to be kinder to each other for a time, and then found all the good intentions just faded away. Maybe you’re noticing that you avoid certain topics because you just don’t want it to end up in an argument, yet again, but you find you are still stewing on the inside.
Getting into a rut in long term relationships is not uncommon.
Living life inside a fulfilling and joyful relationship can mean the world to you. Healthy relationships are known to help us live longer and feel more secure as we age. But when your relationship feels uncertain and there’s a lot of ups and downs in your life together, this can bring a lot of pain and insecurity. Struggling to feel that loving connection that you most want in the midst of arguments and tension can be exhausting and extremely unsettling.
Sometimes life’s challenges, like job loss, the death of loved ones or unexpected illness can cause troubles in relationships. Responding to significant stressors in life can be all consuming and can leave us depleted and unsure how to turn toward our partner when it feels like the stress is taking every bit of our focus and attention.
In couples therapy we will put the focus back on your relationship and we will work together to find the solutions you crave. At Transforming Tides Counselling, your therapist won’t solve your problems for you, yet will help you and your partner uncover the way forward together. Couples counselling can help you develop the communication skills you need to talk together about the hurts you feel and help you set goals for having the relationship you most yearn for.
Couples Therapy can help you be the partner you want to be.
Couples Therapy helps you develop effective skills for communication so that you feel truly listened to, and you are able to deeply understand where your partner is coming from. You’ll learn skills for de-escalating times of conflict and arguments and lessen the lashing out that can happen when emotions are running high.
Our goal is to create a safe space for therapy so you are able to be vulnerable and talk with your partner about your unmet needs, your worries and your deep emotions. We help you learn to talk about the tough stuff while strengthening your relationship to be the loving partnership you most want.
What to Expect in Couples Therapy
At Transforming Tides Counselling we tailor counselling sessions to fit each couple we work with. We help you dream and recognize the wishes you have for your relationship and how you can uniquely move forward. Through conversations with your therapist you will develop new realizations about the people you and your partner have grown into and focus on what is important now, versus what was important in earlier years of your relationship.
Our therapy draws on a variety of training modalities for supporting couples to achieve a fulfilling and loving relationship. We draw on the work of Dr. John Gottman which uses years of research to help couples move away from negativity to positive ways to resolve conflict and build a strong relationship foundation.
We also work with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy which focuses on the values that form the foundation of your relationship. This model helps you handle hurtful thoughts and feelings and strengthen the loving and fulfilling relationship you want.
Concerns you might have about couples therapy
What if I don’t want to talk about the intimate details of my life with a stranger?
At Transforming Tides Counselling we know it takes time to open up and trust your therapist. Your therapist will work with whatever you are comfortable discussing and gently support you through the counselling process. We also know that when you share what’s going on with a third party who is unbiased and non judgemental you will gain new perspectives on your situation.
What if the counsellor takes my partner’s side and ignores my side of things?
This is a common concern of many people when they make plans to start couples therapy. At Transforming Tides Counselling our therapists are impartial and never take sides. They are there to create a safe and non judgemental space so that no one feels their point of view is wrong. Both of you will be treated kindly and encouraged to express your thoughts, feelings, worries and fears in a comfortable environment.
Have questions or are interested in exploring counselling with Transforming Tides Counselling?
Click this link to book a free twenty minute phone consultation. In this consultation you can start to get to know your therapist and explore what working with them would be like.